I am so angry! I want to cry! It frustrates me!
How often do you shout, or think these in your head?
Are you always grumpy and upset “about something”, but unsure why? Do you let emotions bubble under the surface, but refuse to acknowledge what’s really going on? We all have emotions. Positive emotions feel good – like happiness, joy, hope, excitement, and love. Negative emotions feel difficult, even painful – like sadness, anger, jealousy, fear, and rage. But what are emotions, and why is emotional healing important?
The Google definition for ‘emotion’ is: ‘a strong feeling deriving from one’s circumstances, mood, or relationships with others’. And: ‘a neural impulse that moves an organism to action, prompting automatic reactive behaviour that has been adapted through evolution as a survival mechanism to meet a survival need.’ The Latin derivative for emotion, ‘emotere’, which means energy in motion.
Over many years in healing and personal development, I have counseled and guided thousands of people through emotional healing. Clients often feel debilitated with emotional trauma or trouble moving beyond issues. The greatest blocks to emotional healing I have found, are actually the labelling and resistance to what they are experiencing and feeling. Labelling positive emotions as ‘good’ and negative as ‘bad’ sets up an automatic response to what you are experiencing. We naturally tend to tighten around ‘bad’/’negative’, and allow the ‘good’/ ‘positive’. This disconnects us from experiencing our full authentic selves.
But what if we acknowledge emotions as simply feelings or sensations in the body that begin, intensify and then subside. And if we can remember that some emotions linger for a while, like a background noise, and sometimes they erupt quickly then go. That beyond the labelling, emotions are just energy passing through you in any given moment. In recognition of this, it is then easier to let go of resistance and accept “I have this emotion right now, or “I am feeling XXX right now”.
Acceptance of the emotion or energy means it is free to pass through easily, and dissolve or dissipate. By allowing and accepting them, you come to understand that emotions are the closest to feeling inner peace – and the connection to your inner self. They are a gateway to developing more self-love, self-confidence and self-respect.
Some people can suppress their emotions to such an extent that they accumulate over a period of time, and then can come out in extreme emotional outbursts. For example, anger can build up to an explosion of rage. Through this suppression, toxic energies build up and become like concrete layers of energy around or within you. Over time, this layer becomes unrecognisable, and as if by default, you become that emotional energy – it defines who you are. We can also suppress emotions and trauma from childhood. As a child, you may have repeatedly been told you are ‘wrong’ or ‘not good enough’. It can happen through direct words, or through your interpretation of specific events and others’ reactions to you that you then internalise and use against yourself (by judging yourself).
These thoughts can affect your selfesteem and how you see yourself. You may create feelings of unhappiness, and in response, try to ‘override’ the emotions by trying to prove yourself to others (teachers, employers, partners, friends). But perhaps the response you get back does not make you feel any better. In fact, others may take advantage of you or take you for granted. You begin to feel disrespected or resentful. Over time, if it keeps happening, you may feel angry. Left unchecked, this cycle of neglect of emotions and feelings will take its toll on you physically as well as psychologically and mentally. Breaking through these barriers requires commitment, presence, persistence, awareness, and healing. You break down the stuck emotional energy, and eventually, it subsides. The result? You feel lighter, freer, and in touch with the underlying presence of the ‘true’ you.
How can you know if emotional healing is required? Your intuition and inner knowing will guide you. Also, your physical health can indicate that something is out of balance emotionally, and if you are holding unresolved trauma.
Signs emotional healing may be required:
- Mood swings
- Easily triggered and over-reactive. Feeling intolerant or angry.
- Physical issues such as headaches, digestive/gut problems, aches & pains, hormone imbalance, autoimmune diseases etc.
- Insomnia/sleeplessness, nightmares
- ‘Busy’ mind and extreme worry
- Anxiety & panic attacks
- Flashbacks to childhood or past memories
- Withdraw from friends/family or trouble relating
- No interest in things anymore
- Feelings of numbness and disconnection
- Memory loss, feeling ‘spaced out’, disorientated, confused, difficulty in concentrating
- PTSD or depression
- Difficulty showing trust, love and sympathy
- Distracting yourself by keeping busy or through avoidance, e.g. watching TV, social media.
- Extreme tiredness, physical and mental exhaustion
- Change in eating habits
- Sexual dysfunction
- Unable to experience pleasure/pain
- Low self-esteem, lack of self-love and self-respect
What you can do to help yourself:
- Accept, feel the emotions, and then let it go
- Talk with a healer, therapist, counsellor, or non-judgmental friend that ‘holds space.’
- Write down feelings
- Change the self-talk
- Daily mindfulness
- Deep breathing
- Dance or movement to free up
- stuck energy
- Art or creative therapy to process feelings
- Spend time in nature. Water is especially calming
- Give space and time to heal
- Develop self-love, self-compassion, self-respect
- Connect to the inner self
- Let go the past
- Energy healing & crystals to harmonise and heal
- Develop a healthy mindset
- Focus on uplifting emotions like love, joy, peace, bliss
- Feel gratitude each day